HELD

There is a young boy laying in a hospital bed right now fighting for his life. He is fighting a head injury. A cracked skull, broken cheek bone, contusions, crushed sinus' & a blood clot.
As of right now, I don't know what is going on in his little body, or how much longer he will be in ICC. I don't know how to fight for him, or for his family, so at this time, all I can do is sit & pray.
I ask that you would do the same.
You probably don't know him. His name is Chase Sexton & his grandfather is the famed preacher Tommy Barnett.
Little Tommy Chase & I have a special bond. He was in my Pre-school class (*called Rainbows in the Assemblies of God denomination) that I taught ten years ago. And every Sunday since he was a young child he would grin at me with a twinkle in his eye, and a look of certain mischief (he looks just like his grandfather, twinkle & all). He'd give me hugs. He would tell me that he loved me. He would share his candy with me too. (For a small boy, that's a pretty big thing.)
He was on my team at youth camp for the last two years. Last year, 2004, he let me dress him up like a girl & put makeup on him. He smiled & laughed about it. He was "Olga, the Test Tube baby." He got more laughs than anyone else on the stage. Poor guy lost his voice, so you couldn't hear him recite his lines over the laughter.
This year he begged me to let him do something cool again at camp. He dressed up like a Sumo wrestler for our skit & donned a cowboy hat. Sure enough by the time we got on stage to do our skit, he had lost his voice again! (It's from all of that team spirit & cheering for his friends during the games!) This year he played Pastor Todd. Again, he got the most laughs, and no one could hear him because of it!
He sat with me at breakfast one morning & told me how much he loved me. He told me that I was the coolest youth leader ever. He wanted to be on my team EVERY YEAR! I always think that I am going to quit youth leadership, but Chase & others like him remind me why I continue on. When you have a friend like that, sometimes you need them more than they need you.
For the last two years he was nominated as "Camper of the Year." He sacrificed for his team mates. He would do ANYTHING that was asked of him. He played all the games, he sang songs, gave input when asked for it, and even encouraged the other campers to listen and have "Happy Hearts."
When I got the news that his little body was being air-evac'd to Phoenix, from Payson (where he was visiting his paternal family), I was in shock. It has never crossed my mind that Chase wouldn't be around. Or that anything could happen to him. He was invincible. He was the kid that looked forward to goofy stunts, he did that stuff to get a laugh out of people.
Chase always wanted to make someone smile. He didn't care if he knew you or not. He didn't care if you knew who he was. If you were happy or sad, rich or poor. Chase was like a miniature version of his grandfather.
When I was four I started attending Phoenix First. I was poor. I was abused. I didn't have the prettiest dresses or the neatest hair. I rode the busses to church. Pastor Barnett used to put his arms around me and hug me & tell me that he loved me so much. It didn't matter to him that I wasn't the prettiest girl or that my parents didn't give thousands of dollars a year to the church.
Tommy Chase is the same way. I don't drive the nicest car. I don't have the most expensive clothes. I live in a good neighborhood, but its not as nice as others. Chase still gave me a hug every time he saw me. He still makes sure to tell me that I'm the best and that he loves me. Just like his grandpa Barnett.
It's because of people like Pastor Barnett & his grandson, Chase, that I have known the love of God. I have known that not everyone is concerned with the outward appearance, but with the relationship that comes from within. They understand that God looks at the innerman, not the outerman. Pastor Barnett & Chase show others that they love you for who you are inside, for who you will be inside, one day.
That is why Chase is going to be okay. Because if he isn't then there will be no one to carry on the legacy of finding a need and filling it. When I need a hug or a smile you had better believe that Chase is one person that I look for. Chase has a purpose in his young life. He knows what it is & he walks in that everyday.
This is why I know that God is holding Chase right now. He is protecting him. He is healing him as we speak. Because people need to know Christ's love & Chase may be the only way that they ever know it.

Love Lost

It's not that I want to be in DC or anything, I mean, not permanently...Obviously, since I did move home & all, but there are certain things that I miss. I miss not having to drive ANYWHERE. I hate to drive, and the fact that the beast is on its way out, makes me upset that Phoenix doesn't have a decent public transit system. (I could walk 5 blocks to the Metro station & be anywhere I needed or wanted to be in 10-15 minutes, or LESS!)
I miss getting up in the morning & looking out of my balcony.
I miss seeing the changing leaves (obviously this is not an issue right now- they would be bright green, and so beautiful anyway). I miss being near historical sites and minutes from where it all is happening. I miss that feeling of excitement you get from just walking down the streets. At any given time when you step out onto D street, or K street, or wherever, there is this hustle from all the people around you. This sense of urgency that says, "move or be moved." I moved home partly because I didn't like the people in D.C., but I really did love this aspect of life. I am a mover & a shaker. I want to be in the middle of it all. Whatever "it all" is. That's where I want to be.
I find life in Phoenix can be fast paced, if you let it. I haven't gotten back into my groove of being "in it" all the time. I am looking to be "in it" in a different way than I was before I left though. I don't want to be everywhere just for the sake of being everywhere. I want it to have meaning and purpose this time around. I dont want to be busy because I am afraid of being alone, or because I want to look important. I want to make an actual difference. I guess that's why I moved to NV and the DC in the first place, and ultimately why I moved home. I didn't make much of a difference in DC, I need to make a difference.

But, if I am honest with myself, I know that there is one thing that I miss more than anything. That is the friends that I lost when I moved. People that I shared my life with. People that I thought would be around for forever. I respected these people, and I thought it was mutual. Its a shame that their respect for me was lost when I came back to Phoenix. I know that God gives us people for a moment, a season & a lifetime & it is up to us to figure out what impact we will let them have on our lives. I am just sad that things ended so badly.

In my quest in this life to make sure that I've apologized to people that I've hurt, to make amends with people that I've loved and lost, this is my time to say, "I am sorry." I wanted it to work, but it didn't. Be happy for me that I've found my place. I will always hold a special place for you in my heart, and I sincerely hope that you will do the same for me.

The Pearls

The Pearls Story

A cheerful girl with bouncing golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please. Mommy, please!" Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more then her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked if she could pick dandelions for 10 cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere-Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off is when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes Daddy. You know that I love you." "Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess-the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey, Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" "Daddy you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And, when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand taking the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of beautiful genuine pearls. He had had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so that he could give her genuine treasure.

Just like our heavenly father. What are you hanging on to?

--Author Unknown

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Sometimes I think about this story & I wonder what I am holding on to that is just a cheap immitation. God doesnt want to TAKE things from us. He doesnt need our worldly possessions, but when He asks you to give something up, its because He wants to give you something even BETTER. What are you holding on to? Is it a cheap, dime store immitation of God's best? Or is it God's good & perfect gift? (James 1:17)
The Bible says that when two or more agree together, asking anything in HIS name we will receive it. Maybe you should start agreeing for God's best in your life.

Do You Ever Feel Like This?

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Down in My Heart

For those of you that went to Sunday School or Children's Church or Kids Camp or Vacation Bible School (yes, I did all of them), you know that line, and probably the whole song that it is from.

The Bible says, "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:10, NIV)

I think sometimes we forget that happiness & joy are two VERY different things. Happiness is a feeling. People can make us happy, but they can also make us sad, hurt or mad. Our circumstances change our feelings & mood changes.

When our life is centered in Christ, only then do we know real joy. That doesn't mean that our life is perfect, usually we are no better than those that do not have a Christ centered relationship. The only difference is that we have a HOPE that tells us that everything will work out.

When the paycheck doesn't seem to stretch far enough, and the rent is due, your phone is shut off & the car needs an oil change, its easiest to quit. But there is something inside that tells you to keep going & that everything will turn out, that is God's hope for something better, but what keeps you going is His JOY. ("And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28)

When you are grieving for the loss of someone or something, just knowing that they are in a better place & knowing that they lived a great & prosperous life- that is JOY.

If you feel empty inside, remember what the Bible says, "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."- Psalm 28:7

<>< <>< <>< <><
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy
down in my heart
(where?)
down in my heart
(where?)
down in my heart

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy
down in my heart
(where?)
down in my heart to stay.

I've got the peace that passes understanding
down in my heart
I've got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
down in my heart

I've got the wonderful love of my blessed redeemer
way down in the depths of my heart

Theme for Today

Last night I started counseling with our marraige pastor. No, I'm not married. But I realized some stuff about myself this past week @ camp. I have some really deep issues with rejection and pain. I've never dealt with them & I feel its hindering my relationships with others, especially my relationship with Christ.
If those that are supposed to love as Christ loved cannot treat me well, how do I expect to feel love from someone that is not tangible? Right now, this is my theme song...I have to believe & know that HE is my all in all, the only one that I need. That HIS grace is sufficient...
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all

When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is Your name

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

A Tribute

I found out this morning that a man that I love dearly passed away. This brings to mind the old saying "life is short." While this is true, I still feel that there are a few things that people should know about Pastor Jack Wallace, as a tribute to him, his wife & the life that they lead for many years.

I met Pastor Jack when I was 8 years old. I had been living with my aunt & uncle for two and a half years and during that time my uncle sexually abused me. Pastor Jack wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to know that it wasn't my fault. I wasn't dirty. I wasn't ag bad person. He wanted me to know that not all men were bad & He wanted to help me.

I was afraid of him. He was a big man (of course when I was 8, who wasn't?) with lots of books sitting on his shelves. He sat in a big chair behind his big desk. His voice was loud. I started to cry. I couldn't look at him. I was so afraid to tell him what had happened to me. But Pastor Jack loved me anyway. He put his arms around me and he let me cry. He prayed for me. He loved me in the purest form of the word. Then, he asked me if I wanted to talk with his wife.

Gael Wallace was the epitome of what every young girl at Phoenix First wanted to be. She had long blonde hair, a slim figure, and the sweetest smile you could ever imagine. She came to my house twice a week for as long as I could remember. She used to talk to me, and love me. She encouraged me constantly. She taught me how to be a real woman of God. She taught me, through her actions & the way she lived on a daily basis, what the Proverbs 31 woman was.

When Pastor Jack & Gael were trying to have kids, they told me "When we have a little girl, we want her to be just like you." I've never forgotten that.
My whole life I felt like I was never good enough for anyone. I felt unloved, wronged and dirty. They made me feel like I was worthy of love. They made me understand God's love, and what it was to love others & be unselfish.

Pastor Jack accepted a job in Detroit & they moved with their little baby Kaitlyn. I was 9 years old, almost 10 at the time. I saw them every year when Pastor Jack would come back to speak at Phoenix First, or at the Athletes Conference or for a visit for Pastors School. I looked forward to those times more than any other guest Preacher we had at Phoenix First.

Pastor Jack & Gael never forgot who I was. I never forgot who they were. Jack Wallace's memory will live on in my heart, and when I am blessed enough to have children, I hope that my little boy is just like him. I want everyone to know how special the Wallace Family is to me, and remind you to please keep Gael, Kaitlyn & Hannah in your prayers. They kept me in theirs for a long time, when I needed it most.

ONE BILLION DOLLARS

So Bill O'Reilly reported the other night on the O'Reilly Factor that US Tax Payers were going to be forking out about a BILLION DOLLARS a year for illegal immigrant's healthcare.
Let me make a couple of statements, and you can agree or disagree, but just hear me out.
First off, know that I am totally against socialism, but this sounds to me like if we are going to provide for the illegals, maybe we should provide for those that are actually PAYING for it? Seriously.
Secondly, I don't have health insurance, neither do my parents, or my siblings. We've gone most of our lives without it. We've survived. Does having Health Insurance cause you to go to the doctor more? Are we prone to the hypochondriac way of thinking because we can be? (I understand that with Cancer on the rise, etc, it is important to go to the doctor for checkups, but seriously, I know people that sniffle & they are there...Usually on my dime.)

With all of that being said, here are some interesting stats for all of you:
80% of all violent crimes in Arizona are committed by illegal aliens.
90% of all murders are committed by illegal aliens.
It costs the US Taxpayers about $1 Billion a year just in HEALTHCARE (this doesn't count the cost of incarceration for those mentioned above).
Most people that are here are working to send money back to family in Mexico. This equates to be about $17 Billion a year. (About $1.7 B is from AZ alone.)
-This is the second largest income for Mexico. (Explains why Vincente Fox is so adamant in pushing the guest worker program, huh?)

If we were to impose a remittance tax on the money sent via Western Union, etc (wired back to Mexico) of 8%- the same as sales tax in AZ- we would be able to pay for the programs that are imposed on by illegals.
Remember that preventative programs are always cheaper then social/welfare programs.

Just a little something to chew on this weekend...Keep it in the back of your mind, this election cycle is gonna be a doozy & you can bet this is going to be a huge issue for AZ, and other border states.

Robbing the Woman of Her "Hoped-for-Future Child"

Not only does the above statement not make sense, its a completely asinine remark made against the pro-life, or should I say, sane community. The comment was made by Planned Parenthood of Arizona in regards to SB1052.
This bill is in reaction to the hundreds of women who are beaten, murdered and harmed in other ways, thus causing the death of their unborn children . The bill would make it a crime, manslaughter, in fact, for harming a woman & causing her to lose her child.
What is it about 9 months that makes a child a child? Do people not understand that a baby, in utero, has brain waves and a heart beat? At 22 days after conception a baby's heart beats with its own blood type. By six weeks brain waves are apparent & detectable. By eight weeks all internal organs are in place and have begun to form. By 11 weeks the baby's organs work on their own. (www.nrlc.org)
Obviously the child cannot live on its own outside of the womb. In the same token, a 6 week old cannot live on its own. Without someone to care for, love and nurture the child, he too would surely die.
Why is it a crime for a 6 week old to be shaken to the point that his little brain bruises and swells causing trauma, or a new born to be dumped into a garbage can, or a three year old to be left in a hot car in the sweltering heat, all of them left to die, but it is never an issue for a child, in the womb, to be bludgeoned in utero, and somehow it shouldn't be comparable? If a child dies in cold blood, it should make no difference what the age.
When a woman is harmed and her child is harmed as well, how is it not 2 counts of manslaughter? 2 charges of attempted murder? 2 charges of assault with a deadly weapon?
I think that it is time for every man & woman to stand up and tell Janet Napolitano that it is never okay for a child to be harmed, and it is her duty to do something to save them.
Planned Parenthood can use the excuse that this is leading up to the repeal of abortion rights. I say that its leading up to common decency for America's Unborn. No matter what your view on abortion is, you have to agree that abortion is voluntary, beatings that cause a miscarriage are not. No woman deserves to be beaten (keep the crack comments to a minimum on this one, guys), and no child deserves to die a violent death.
Call the Governor and demand that she sign 1052 into law.
Telephone 602-542-4331
Fax 602-542-1381

Mourning a Great Loss

I wanted to take a moment to say that it brings great sorrow to my heart to know that Pope John Paul II has passed on. My friend Julie says, "Once a Catholic, always a Catholic." In a way, that remark couldn't be more true. I was baptized in the Catholic church as a baby, and when I lived with my Aunt we went to Catholic Mass.
I learned to respect the culture and the beliefs and traditions. I learned to respect the Holy leader and his papacy. My hope is that in this sad moment, others will learn to respect it as well.

Finally, Canada Does Something Right

Canadian officials finally passed along a ruling on the Jeremy Hinzman case. If you aren't familiar with this loser, take a look at his own website: www.jeremyhinzman.com
He didn't want to go to war in Iraq, although he signed up for the Army & was stationed at Fort Bragg in 2001. He claims that he was brainwashed into joining the army, with promises of a better life and more security. Sorry, pal, but just because you thought joining the Army was going to be a cake walk & a free check doesn't mean that the poor Canadians should have to put up with you.
The Immigration and Refugee Board stated that Mr. Hinzman had not made a convincing or sufficient claim that he was persecuted in America. "Removal to the U.S. would not subject them personally to a risk to their lives or to a risk of cruel and unusual treatment or punishment," the board decided. "There are no substantial grounds to believe that their removal to the U.S. will subject them personally to a danger of torture."
Finally, Canada gets it right.
When asked what would happen to him if forced to return to the US, Jeremy states, "I would go to jail if forced to return to the US. And the U.S. does have a law that states that deserters can, in a time of war, be subject to the death penalty. Although I say it is unlikely, the Bush administration is known to set precedents, so I wouldn't put anything past them." Maybe in this case, this wouldn't be a bad precedent to set?
Maybe Hinzman went about this all the wrong way. He should have asked Bill Clinton for help, then, in a few years, he can run for President.

The Right to Live, The Right to Die

While the Terri Schindler-Schiavo case is all over the news, it seems a bit reduntant for me to blog on the matter. However, I have a few things that I wonder about, in regards to the case, and I wonder if anyone else feels the same way...

1.) If Terri's heart attack was not because of her eating disorder (that she developed because her husband told her she was fat, constantly), but actually because of Michael and his abusive demeanor, should he be charged with a crime?

2.) If Terri had not been denied years of Physical Therapy, as doctors had ordered in the beginning, would she be okay today? (I have heard several moving stories of people who were in a "vegatative state" but after six months or so of pt they are mobile again.)

3.) If the Schindler's (Terri's parent's) whole-heartedly want to take over caring for Terri, shouldn't they be allowed? Why is Michael Schiavo fighting this? He's off the hook. Just let them take over, go live your life with your new girlfriend and two kids.

4.) Does anyone else think that Michael is creepy and bastardly? Who honestly withholds treatment from a woman that has a hope of regaining her life? Who speaks with such harsh words, as he has, and leaves her side to start a family with another woman? I understand needing to move on, but he wasn't doing a very good job of moving on in the first place. He could have easily gave up Power of Attorney, and THEN moved on with his life.

5.) Does the new girlfriend find it strange that her man is so cold hearted? Is she naive enough to believe that he would be different to her, if she were in the same situation?

I'm so perplexed on many levels, that I cannot fathom being in this situation. She obviously had hope at one time for a normal, or somewhat normal life. How can that be denied?

The Senator and the KKK

I hate to trudge up someone's past like this, but after Senator Robert Byrd's remarks on Tuesday, I feel that it's justified.
When someone makes a statement claiming that I am a Nazi because of my political affiliation, I get a little upset. Let's think this through for one second though.
The Nazi movement came based upon wanting to create a "Perfect Society." Men, women and children were murdered because of their looks, their capabilities in life, and their religious views. Because I am Polish (one quarter, so lets keep the Pollock jokes to a minimum, please), I would not have lasted a day under Hitler's regime. Ken Mehlman? Gone in a heart beat. Someone born with a deformity or a handicap? Shot to the head.
Let's talk about the party that does this on a daily basis and they fight for the right to be able to kill at will.
The Democratic Party platform allows for genocide, and borderline infanticide. By allowing procedures like Partial Birth Abortion, Selective Reduction and other medical cruelties, they are no better than the Nazis.
If a mother and father find out that the baby may have a handicap, or other health issues what does the doctor suggest? Abortion. If the life of that unborn child creates an inconvenience, what does NARAL, NOW & Planned Parenthood suggest? Abortion. If you have a handicapped infant, and you decide that you do not want to deal with the issues at hand, what does Professor Peter singer say you should do? Kill the child. Yes, its true. Do a google search on this wacko. He later rescinded his statement that it was okay to kill a handicapped child for up to 28 days, and said he thought it should be more like 2-3 years.
It leads me to call into question the various statements that have been made by the left in the past by people like George Soros of moveon.org, and Senator Robert Byrd. If you allow children to be killed because you simply don't want them (or the old PP mantra, "Every Child Should Be a Wanted Child") then are you better than the Nazis?
I think its time to take a look at the platforms and discuss some changes that need to be made.

Conservative? Liberal? Or Just a Swinger?

USA Today is reporting that Sandra Day O'Connor is the deciding swing vote in the Ten Commandments case. This is usually the case in these types of issues, especially when it comes down to a liberal versus conservative point of view.
People have long argued about the place of religion in our government. People like the ACLU would like for us to believe that religion has no place in America. I would like everyone, including Justice O'Connor to remember that religion is why America was founded in the first place. Had it not been for the need to worship freely without persecution, we'd all still be part of the Church of England and the Declaration of Independence and the Revolutionary War would never have happened.
But, it is a part of our history. We cannot forget the importance of religion in America. As much as people would like to disagree, ideology stems from religious beliefs, not all of the time, but a lot of the time. I believe in God and I am not offended by a statue of Moses and the Ten Commandments, which happens to be at the Supreme Court building.
Justice O'Connor needs to remember that she was appointed by President Reagan. A man that was devout in his faith. She needs to remember that this decision will effect not just two states, but the world, and generations to come. Hopefully she will stick to her guns and go with allowing these monuments to be displayed as a "museum."
The fact is, it happened. It's a part of history. If we don't allow the Bible stories to be told, what's next? Do we start to erase parts of history pertaining to wars that were fought to conserve the very freedom that we can no longer claim?

Side Note, from The Note

Every morning I receive an email from ABC's "The Note." It's a general overview of anything and everything going on in politics, in DC and abroad. If you haven't signed up for it yet, I suggest you do.
One thing I love about it: HUMOR. I love that they can take jabs at D's & R's, and it never seems to be bias. This morning something I found particularly funny was a "memo" to Howard Dean...Read on...
***********************************************************************************
TO: GOV. DEAN
FROM: DNC STAFF
RE: SO FAR

With successful trips to two Red States under your belt and not a single public (or even cowardly on-background) quote leveled against you from a Democratic strategist/leader/operative, you are off to a fine start. But there are some things we think you could do, uhm, better.
Here's our list:

1) Implied in your insistence that we call you "Governor" instead of "Chairman" seems to be a forlorn fondness for your former employ and a disdain for your current job. Keep this up and we may end up splitting the baby and just calling you "the politician-formerly-known-as-front-runner." [Keep this up and we may end up insisting that you call us "former McAuliffe staffers." Stings a little, doesn't it?]

2) We know you're sick of hearing it, but that's okay because frankly three weeks in, we're already sick of telling you: watch the language. Osama bin Laden is evil. Lionel Ritchie music is evil. Astroturf is evil. Republicans are not evil. Entirely.

3) The Fabulous Flournoy has been captaining the ship well, but we have no idea who her lieutenants are. Vagueness was okay on week one. And two. And arguably three. But we're now nearly on week four of the new Dean regime and we need two words our party seems allergic to — "org chart."

4) Word to the wise — staff is a constituency, and like any constituency you have to win us over. You can't do that if you won't talk to us. The last guy here wouldn't shut up — and we loved him for it.

5) Psychologists say room decor reveals a lot about a person. Actually we just made that up. But it does sound like something they would say. Anyway, we're ascribing that to them to make a point: your office is too spare. Where's the campaign memorabilia, the 11 framed balanced budgets, the conspicuously absent Trippi photo, etc.?

6) Terry was to Cafe Milano as Howard is to . . . What? Until you can answer that question, you're not really our chairman. That said, we're here to serve. From what we've gathered from our time together so far, you're probably a tad more earthy; we recommend you consider Nora, Two Quail and Ben's Chili Bowl.

7) Get out there more. Yes, yes. We understand that you're trying to send the signal that you're here to work and don't wish to hog the limelight. But Sen. Clinton's first year in office proved that you can both stay low key and get more exposure for it.

8) Whenever you first ride the DC Metro, we wanna come with.

9) Look, we're not going to name names here, but we all know where you lodge while in town and, well, while admirable, we would feel safer if you upgraded to at least a Motel 6.

10) Stop lighting incense all over the building. People are growing suspicious.

11) It's always a good idea to let state parties know you might be coming to their state to visit. In advance, we mean.

12) Our blog: sure it's fun and all, necessary too, but NOT SUFFICIENT.

13) As you know from reading The Note every day, we're soclose to defeating bush on Social Security. So let's pony up some $ — our side needs it.

14) Hello. We are your staff and we are here to help. Let us. Otherwise we'll turn into a soft, gentle people and it won't be pretty.

15) But…on the other hand: hey hey, ho ho, some of us have got to go.

16) Can we keep Tina?

17) GOP leadership? '08ers? Tell us how to go after them. Bush no longer matters.

18) The Republican Party has a very clever plan to keep you from re-making your public image. Don't be fooled by that Ken Mehlman "good cop" stuff. You can be one of the best chairs this party has ever had, or you can end up a cartoonish joke.

19) Do you have a plan — secret or otherwise — for the next four years? If so — and if it needs to be secret to work — by all means, keep it secret.

20) Transitions are hard. For all of us.

Thanks for hearing us out.

DUH

okay, so the latest Fox Opinion Poll says that seven in ten Americans think that Hollywood is out of touch with their values.
All I have to say is "BIG SURPRISE!" -Did they really need to do a poll on this one?

Side Note #2 for Today

Let me start this post out by saying I'm not an environmentalist, at all. However, can someone explain the sheer lunacy that was going on at Wendy's today?
I went in for lunch and when I left I asked for a refill on my diet coke and they threw away my cup and gave me a new one. I guess this could be some health code violation for me to reuse my cup, but this is the only time I've ever seen this done. Can someone please explain?
I'm glad to know that members of ELF (Earth Liberation Front) would never eat there...My favorite fast food place would be burned to the ground! Now, we only have to worry if Wendy's starts serving soy patties and organic veggies with goat's milk...
Oh yeah, YES, I do order Diet Soda with my fried chicken nuggets. They cancel each other out! ;o)~

Where Do You Draw the Line, Part Two

I received a rather nasty post from an unwelcome blogger. I don't care if you read my post, but please don't call me a hypocrite. I think we should live along the lines that we must agree to disagree. Trust me, I have read MANY blogs, and well, even the NEW YORK TIMES or the ARIZONA REPUBLIC, and been quite upset at what is there in black and white.
As decent human beings and as a general rule...Don't call me a hypocrite just because you don't believe as I do. At least I can back my faith and beliefs up with fact. Can you, Ms. Universal Unitaliterian United Church? As far as I'm concerned, that church was created to serve your needs and purposes not to have to be accountable to anyone or anything. It is people like you, who judge others, and then start your own religions because people are judged. Talk about being Ass Backwards!
Please see my comments to you in Where Do You Draw the Line.
Thank you for respecting my space.

KAET Polls Show Napolitano Preferred Candidate over ALL Republicans

This wasn't the title of the story, but it might has well be.
Let's face it, ASU, KAET and the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism are not known for being all too "Conservative Friendly." Sometimes I wonder where they pull these people from.
Anyhow, in a statewide telephone poll of 400 people here is what they found:
31% said they definitely WOULD support a second term.
28% probably would support a second term.
16% probably would NOT support her for a second term.
13% would definitely NOT support her for a second term.

What does this mean?
Well, I'm trying not to sound like I'm giving up, so here's what needs to happen...
We need every single vote from the WOULD NOT's, the PROBABLY WOULD NOT's, and no less than 3/4ths of the probably would supports to even hit the 50% mark. That's dead even.
According to this poll, J.D. Hayworth received only 28% to the Gov's 54% when paired up. Former Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley received 25% to Janet's 50% and, unfortunately, Former Governor Fife Symington received only 14% when matched up against Napolitano's 70%.
The fortunate thing is that we know that this poll simply cannot be true. J.D. Hayworth is one of the most beloved men in our state. I wouldn't go as far as to say that he's as loved as former Senator and Presidential candidate, Barry Goldwater, but I can see that it could reach that level. (Please see former post: Does Anyone Want to Run for Governor of AZ in '06, to read more about JD). So with keeping that hope in mind, these numbers are obviously incorrect.
Now getting back to reality. The problem with Fife Symington, and the reason that his chances are slim is not because he is a bad person, or a "crook" as I have heard recently. It's that most people that live in Arizona, did not live here during his full administration. They did not see the good that he did. Let's remind these newbies to Arizona of tax reductions, income growth and capital investments that he implemented as our 19th Governor. He was convicted on charges that had nothing to do with his policies. AND, lets not forget that he later was exonerated of all charges.
With that being said...We need to get down to business. One year is not far away. We are in trouble, and the Democrats know it.
Please sign up at www.azgop.org as a volunteer, www.gop.com as a Team Leader, or join your local Young Republicans League. To find out more visit www.arizonayr.com. AND FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, MAKE SURE YOU ARE REGISTERED TO VOTE!!

LIE OF THE DAY

"If I had to do it over, I wouldn't do it at all..."I didn't do it for money, I did it for History."
-Doug Wead, author of The Raising of a President on Good Morning America

Side Note: If you didn't do it for money, why are you selling the book that was written based on those tapes? Is all of the profit going to homeless shelters, halfway houses and pregnancy centers?
...I didn't think so...
You wrote a book about our President, based on tapes from a private conversation. Now you are hawking your book on National Television, and letting all of America hear these tapes. And you say it isn't for money, and you wouldn't do it again?
Gee, why don't I believe you??

Two Halves Don't Make a Whole

Trying to sort through the madness of life and relationships is never fun. Especially when you know that you have a lot of garbage to sort through.
I have a past like no one else. Not to say that yours isn't as interesting, or wasn't as difficult. Mine was just different.
I moved to D.C. to run from my past. I wanted to prove to all of the nay-sayers that I was more than the little girl that grew up in foster homes. I was more than the girl that could barely look anyone in the eyes because of her shame. I was more than the girl that was beaten and abused daily. I wanted to prove that I was not a statistic, not in the way that you usually hear of kids like me, anyway.
I wanted to show that I had potential. That I could dream big dreams and make big things happen. So, I moved. And then I moved again. And again. Now, I am thinking of moving again.
For people like me, there is a sense of safety in moving around. No one knows you. You never have to overcome your past, because with these new people, you have no past, as far as they are concerned. I was always the new kid when I was younger, so to me, it seems right. Roots only let people see you for who you really are.
The problem with good friends are that they seem to remind you of your past. I don't mean this in a negative way. They do it to help us. They want us to better ourselves and make wiser decisions than we have in the past.
Well, I made a wise decision. I am starting to dig through my 'closet,' if you will, of past relationships. I am dissecting each one, trying to find out why I am a serial dater. What is it about me that needs to have someone so close?
I've figured out a few things. One of these things is that its all an illusion. These people are never really close to me. I let them in, but not very far. They think that they are in, but just as soon as they think that, they are gone. Out of my life. Next time you see me with friends, or even a boyfriend, look closely. Everything about me is uncomfortable. I am so insecure that for people to know who I really am is impossible, for I don't even know who I am.
The second thing I've learned is that because of my insecurities I have a habit of picking men that make me feel good about myself. It doesn't matter how old or young. How smart or unintelligent they seem to be. Good looking or old & unattractive. It doesn't matter to me. These men are here, by my side simply to serve one purpose: To Worship Me.
I am not into idol worship or anything weird like that. I mean that these guys are the ones who have to continuously tell me how wonderful, beautiful, funny and smart I am. This is because I know that I am, but at the same time, I don't fully believe it. I want to, but I still hear that voice deep down inside, the one that says, "You'll never be anything. You can't make it. You are a screw up. You are ugly. You are stupid." If I have someone around whose voice is louder and more frequent than the one in my head, sometimes I think that it will all go away.
Most of the time though, these guys have their own issues. How can I be broken and need healing, and yet expect someone else to fix me? Healing comes from down deep inside. From God, from His strength.
So, my advice to myself, and to others like me, Stop looking towards someone else who's broken to fix you. Two halves don't always make a whole. At least not with people.

To Love What You Do & Feel That it Matters...

Katharine Graham from the Washington Post once said, "To love what you do and feel that it matters, how can anything be more fun?"
I think this statement is 100% true. At least for me. I have been struggling because I have been working two very unimportant jobs lately, and I am quite bored. This makes me want to slit my wrists or jump off the side of the building, just for kicks.
Its not to say that working for a water company isn't important- I mean, If I didn't have hot water in my house, someone would die. And If I was getting married, then perhaps I would find more significance in someone that was a wedding consultant, but alas, I just don't care.
Last week at our young adults group the Pastor was talking about how we spend our time. Do we use our time wisely? How we spend our time is a reflection of our life...I soon thereafter tuned out of the discussion and started to think...
If there is someone who spends even 40 hours a week working a job that they hate, then I agree that they are not spending their time wisely. If there is someone who is working 120 hours a week (as I did) doing something that they love, and are called to do, why is that a waste? I believe wholeheartedly that when you are hard wired to do something, and you are good at it, and it is what you love to do, then why is that a crime? Working in politics, I was always happy to get up and go to work, I almost never left my office. I slept only a few short hours a night and was lucky to have a few days off in the four and half months I officially worked for the campaign. Is that a crime? Did I waste my time?
I don't think so. January 20th told me that it was well worth my time. If you are doing what God has called you to do and glorifying Him for the opportunity to be able to do it, then I think you are right on track.
I only hope that I am blessed enough to be able to do what I love again...

Changing Their Tune

Sorry I'm posting this a bit later than I had hoped to, but this will be in reference to a NY Times article published on Feb. 16, 2005. Please feel free to read the article & drop me a line with your input. "For Democrats, Rethinking Abortion Runs Risks" (The link wouldn't post here, sorry!)

Okay so it's happening. We all knew that this day would come...
The Democrats have lost control of the nation, and of their party. They are being viewed as out of sink with the country and their constituents. People no longer want to associate with their leftist thinking. So, what do they do? First of all, they elect Howard Dean as their chairman... By any normal standards, this would seem odd. This guy didn't get the nomination for President because he was so far gone, now they want him to run their party?
Richard Perle made a great point this weekend at Pacific U when stating, "How appropriate that the Democrats elect a physician as the leader of the Democratic Party. They need one."
Anyway, I digress. Back to my original point.
The NY Times wrote that several leaders at the DNC and in Congress are encouraging a more moderate view on abortion and women's health issues. NARAL is publishing an ad in the conservative "Weekly Standard" magazine asking for help in reducing abortions, by providing more birth control options.
Hillary Rodham-Clinton (who coincedentally has voted 100% of the time AGAINST anything remotely related to Right to Life) and Chairman Dean suggest that they "recalibrate the party's thinking on new restrictions on abortions." And even Minority Leader Harry Reid votes pro-life 80% of the time (for a Mormon, I would think it should be 100%). I found it to be interesting that there are several staunchly pro-death candidates, including Sen. Chuck Schumer (his voting record also states a 100% opposition to Right to Life issues), that are actually RECRUITING pro-life democrats. (Bob Casey, Jr. To oppose Rick Santorum). Coincidentally, Jr.'s father faced opposition from the Dem's in '92 when he could not speak at the convention because of his pro-life stance. (Thanks, Bill & Hill.)
The upside for the Dems is that they regain part of their base, which is the staunchly pro-life, yet very Catholic community, which tends to lean towards the Democratic Party on most other issues. For many pro-lifers, it is that one issue that sways their vote. Especially when you stand with the Pope. The Pope has condemned war. George W. Went to war and many Catholics did not want to vote for him, but the issue more near and dear to their heart: Sanctity of Human Life. It is because of the conservative vote that we as Republicans are in power in Washington, and on the home front.
Once the DNC even opens up to the idea of changing their party platform, or taking an easier view on abortion they will re-gain many of their faithful. I believe that the Catholic church will begin to support more candidates, as best they can as a 501(c)3, anyway.
This is where the downside for the Republicans comes into play. I believe that we need to continue to prove that Hillary is becoming a softy for reasons that will be layed out over the next three and a half years. How can a woman that promised us 2,000 abortion clinics by the year 2000 all of the sudden believe that abortion is not the answer? How can someone who continues to praise Planned Parenthood, claim to be moderate on the life issue?
2008 is not far off. It is time that the Republicans kick it into high gear. Conservative values are the values of the Republican ticket and we need to make sure that we keep our focus. We cannot afford to have the nation sway towards an iffy candidate, especially one who's word means nothing at best, especially when we've come this far.

Where Do You Draw the Line?

I was watching one of my favorite shows last night, Will & Grace. I know, I shouldn't love it, but I do. It's funny. Or, should I say, it used to be funny?
I've found it to be unamuzing at some points. Where do I, as a Christian and a Republican draw the line? I refuse to be one of those people who boycotts EVERYTHING under the sun. I know that some things will be offensive to me and my beliefs. I know that there are people who don't agree with me. I do agree in Freedom of Speech. Here is where my issue lies.
How is it that shows like "Will and Grace" can bash our President left and right, but we cannot stand up for ourselves in the Media without being made out to look like a bunch of crazies?
Several episodes of that show have made our President out to look like a dimwhit, and to trash Republicans. I recall once even hearing Will say something about a client being a large donor to the Republican National Committee and the grandfather of five, so how could Jack act so gay in front of him? You know what? Just because we give money to the RNC, that doesn't mean that we are HOMOPHOBIC!!!
I actually have homosexual friends. I go dancing & shopping with them. I have fun. Do I support their lifestyle? NO, absolutely not. Do they know it? YES. We just agree to disagree and move on.
Being Republican doesn't make me a freak. Being a Christian doesn't make me weird. I believe in the principles that this Nation was founded on. You don't? Okay, that's what the first amendment is about. You have the right to go on TV and say you are homosexual and you hate my President and my Lord. I have the right to tell you to stick it where the sun don't shine.
Stop telling me that FOX NEWS is biased. But then, if you line up with CNN's views why would you want anyone to hear anything else but lies?
I am tired of people making fun of good people like Dr. James Dobson for his beliefs. I am tired of people bashing God on TV and Republicans and their policy in the news.
I don't want to be one of those people that sits in my house without a TV, never going to a movie, for fear that I will be offended. I refuse to live my life in a cave. However, I refuse to sit quietly and take crap from people out of the mainstream any longer.
I AM CHRISTIAN. I BELIEVE IN GOD. I AM PRO-LIFE, PRO-TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE. AND, I AM REPUBLICAN.

Washing My Mouth Out with Soap

I am so bored at work that I am sitting here biting off my acrylic nails for something to do. Word to the wise...Make sure there isn't soap under your nails if you ever decide to do this. GROSS!

Anyone Want to Run for Governor of AZ in '06?

There was a rumor that was circulating for a while that Congressman J.D. Hayworth (Rep. AZ-5th Dist.) was going to run for Governor in 2006. I am sad to say that the rumor has come to a halt. It's not completely a bad thing. JD has been climbing the ranks in leadership in Congress, which is definitely not a lost cause. We need more congressman that have their act together. He knows the issues and he's great at what he does. JD is one of the few congressman I've met that actually makes an attempt to make you feel like you aren't just one of the thousands, but just one of his friends. He is always welcoming and friendly.
I guess where I am going with all of this is that I am worried about the state of my state.
Without a candidate with JD's caliber, do the Republican's have a chance to reclaim the Gubernatorial office? Republicans hold the majority in the state legislature and at the Federal level, but without a governor that will sign our bills into law, we are spinning our wheels on many issues.
Janet Napolitano has gained notoriety throughout the country with other Dems for her work. She has played her last three years very smartly. Sure, she has ticked off the Republican's, but that's to be expected. What she hasn't done is make the moderates or the lefties mad. Without a truly conservative candidate, as in socially conservative, we cannot expect to take back the 9th floor of the capitol. We need someone that will rally the conservative base and make them get out and vote. I fear that we do not have this.
Even with a socially conservative candidate in 2002 we lost the Gubernatorial race. Which leads me to ask this one important question:
Do the social conservatives only vote during Presidential Election years? The conservative base turned the 2004 election around completely. We are a force to be reckoned with and everyone knows it. Do we have a chance of winning without the conservative vote? I know we lost the election in '02 because so many social conservatives did not show up at the polls.
Why is this? People need to understand that politics begin at home. If we don't control our local ground, if we don't speak our minds there, why should we expect to make a difference nationally? It is time for everyone to step up to the plate. Stop thinking that your vote only matters once every four years.

Passing the Time

HELLO EVERYONE!
Okay, so I know that it has been weeks since my last post, so here I am, making a short, yet sweet appearance.
I am working as a Wedding Consultant at David's Bridal in Paradise Valley (and hating the irony that I, the single woman, am helping women get married everyday.) I am looking for something political- so hopefully soon something will come around.
I am back at church and so glad to be home.
Sorry that this is so short. I will pontificate more when I have the time, as so much is going on with the new administration. (AND HOW GREAT WAS THE STATE OF THE UNION THE OTHER NIGHT?!?!)
Love you all. Be safe and well.
I will write soon. I promise.
Val

Home, Sweet Home

Its a new season, its a new day. At least thats the way the song goes, and I believe it.
I have moved home, and let me tell you the relief I felt as the plane lifted off of the ground at DCA. Whew. It was like I could finally breath again.
I am working as a wedding consultant. Not exactly the job I've always had in mind, but hey, everything happens for a reason. I met a Congressman's daughter this morning at my shop. Like I said everything happens for a reason. (I also think I placed the wrong order, I am going to get fired!) I am looking for my "real" job right now, this is sort of a filler for the time being. But I know that my friends also accept me for me, and NOT for the title that is behind my name, so its nice to be home and to know that even if I do have to work this job for the rest of my life, it will be okay.
Anyway. Life is a journey, and I am hoping that mine will be memorable and rewarding. God will lead me to where I am supposed to be. Right now though, I am just along for the ride.

PS- I have limited access to the net right now, so bear with me as I might not be posting as often as I normally do (hence the long absence leading up to this post!)

Gifts

"God has given each of you from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you." -I Peter 4:10

Pastor Barnett always says that God doesn't need our money, He needs our obedience. We tithe and give offering because the Bible says to (Mal. 3:10 & II Cor.9:7).
With our obedience comes God knowing that when we are faithful in the smallest of things He will give us greater things. He continues to bless us when we are faithful.
This leads me to ask this question:
How can God help us grow in our talents if we won't help grow His kingdom? We often ask for God to bless us, or to help us find the perfect job or mate. Well, then why aren't we planting seeds? Why aren't we asking God to help us develop our talents, so that when we are blessed, we can bless OTHERS?
Being a blessing to others doesn't mean that you give cash away all the time. Sometimes, blessing others is a talent that needs to be developed in other ways. Being a friend who listens. Maybe being the one who sends an encouraging email or gives a phone call to say that you were thinking of someone. We never know what people are going through. Sometimes, developing your spiritual gifts may be as easy as learning to listen to that inner voice that nudges you to speak to someone you don't know, and maybe befriend them.
You will never know how you can be a blessing if you don't let God develop your gifts. Be faithful in the smallest things, and He will give you more.

My Favorite

"Every good and perfect gift comes to us from above, who created all heaven's lights. Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows." -James 1:17

Mother's Know Best

When I was younger I wanted nothing more than to be independent and free. Especially from my mother. Why is it that young women need desperately to be away from our mothers, and yet we need them near?
I never realized how much I loved my mom, or just how much she loved me until July. I mean, I always knew that she loved me, but I didn't get HOW MUCH. Our relationship is strange, especially since she is not my birth mother. I've always been grateful to her for giving up her life to take me in. I've always been thankful for the sacrifices of her family, for me. They made me one of them. But I never really got it, until now. In a weird way, I never appreciated her the way that I should have.
July came and I was moving to Las Vegas. I was terrified of leaving home. I was afraid to drive alone. I didn't want to go, but I did. Mom gave up her weekend at the last second to drive with me. She wanted to make sure that I arrived safely.
When it came time for her to leave me, I cried. I was like a little girl standing in the school yard on my first day of kindergarten. I had never been without my mom. What would I do now?
I immediately became lonely. I didn't know if I could survive without this woman that had become my best friend, my mentor and the woman I wanted to be when I grew up.
Now that I am in DC- she worries about me. I am so far away. She doesn't ever hear from me. I try to explain that it's because I don't want to disappoint her. I haven't done all of the things that I said I was going to do. But in a way, I think she is proud of me, even if she hasn't said it.
I called her today. I cried and told her I wanted to come home. She said okay.
So, now, I am getting ready to leave this place so far away. I wanted my independence. Now all I want is my family.
I can't wait to see my mom!!

Return, O Israel

As I was reading my daily devotional, I realized how great it is that God knows us so well. In this time of my need, there was my devotional. It is exactly what I needed to read. I too, am in the midst of a private battle. I have finally given in to God and come to know the bittersweet defeat. I would rather lose myself to God and His will than lose my soul anyday.
It is now that I surrender fully to God.

###

"If you will return, O Israel, says the Lord..." -Jeremiah 4:1

Our battles are first won or lost in the secret places of our will in God’s presence, never in full view of the world. The Spirit of God seizes me and I am compelled to get alone with God and fight the battle before Him. Until I do this, I will lose every time. The battle may take one minute or one year, but that will depend on me, not God. However long it takes, I must wrestle with it alone before God, and I must resolve to go through the hell of renunciation or rejection before Him. Nothing has any power over someone who has fought the battle before God and won there.
I should never say, "I will wait until I get into difficult circumstances and then I’ll put God to the test." Trying to do that will not work. I must first get the issue settled between God and myself in the secret places of my soul, where no one else can interfere. Then I can go ahead, knowing with certainty that the battle is won. Lose it there, and calamity, disaster, and defeat before the world are as sure as the laws of God. The reason the battle is lost is that I fight it first in the external world. Get alone with God, do battle before Him, and settle the matter once and for all.
In dealing with other people, our stance should always be to drive them toward making a decision of their will. That is how surrendering to God begins. Not often, but every once in a while, God brings us to a major turning point—a great crossroads in our life. From that point we either go toward a more and more slow, lazy, and useless Christian life, or we become more and more on fire, giving our utmost for His highest—our best for His glory.

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest Devotional (www.gospelcom.net/rbc/utmost)

No What Ifs

What if I never make it? What if I never find the love of my life? What if I already met him, and I passed him by, for what I thought was a better find? What if...What if...What if...
I have determined that I will have no "what if's" in my life. From now on, Carpe Diem. Live life to its fullest. Pray to God that I stay in His perfect will, but if I don't, know that His grace is sufficient and expansive enough for Him to bring me back to where I need to be. And besides, no one else may love me, but He always will.

How Long?

I am sitting here on the couch watching "Joey" with Chris. The premise of the show is that Joey's nephew has moved in with him & is looking for dating advice. The nephew finally gets a girls number and there is a debate on how long to wait to call someone. Well, I am going to clear up the confusion for all of you men out there, and for the women who expect a call that night (ridiculous) and the ones who think three weeks later is acceptable.
Situation One:
You are at a party/bar/club/church/restaurant. An unknown approaches you. You talk, have great banter and he asks for your phone number.
If he doesn't call within three days, forget it. It's not happening. If he calls next week, blow him off. He was obviously not that interested and you should not be either.
Situation Two:
A friend introduces you to someone. Because you share a mutual friend, there should be some sort of communication within 24-48 hours, even if to say "It was nice meeting you, but..." (you don't want to make your friend have to explain to the other friend that there was no chemistry, be man, or woman enough to do this yourself, and quickly)
Situation Three:
You go on a date, expect a call within 48 hours (I believe 72 Hours is too long). If the date was terrible, guys, call and break it off the next day. Don't put off what you can do today for tomorrow. Fish or cut bait, one of my FAVORITE sayings when it comes to relationships. If it was great, why would you want to wait? Call her in the mid afternoon to let her know you enjoyed yourself.
RECAP:
Women don't want someone who is overly bearing. A call that night, or even the next morning may seem to be a bit too eager for a woman, and it can turn us off. HOWEVER, if you are overly aloof, we may think you are stuck on yourself, disinterested, or just a complete jackhole.
Take your time, but hurry up!

Seeing is Believing

It doesn't feel like Christmas. I was talking with a co-worker from Pakistan. In America, Christmas is so commercialized. We've lost touch with the "Reason for the Season," the birth of our Lord and Savior, the one who came to Earth in the form of a baby to die on a cross. In Pakistan, Christmas is a time for family and reflecting. I think that the pressures have gotten to us in America, and our greediness is to blame.
Working in retail allows me to come into contact with a lot of people. I hear children saying, "I want, I want, I want." I see so many people charging. Rarely is there a cash buyer. What is it worth if you end up spending three times the price in credit card interest?
When did Christmas become less about being thankful for what we do have; family, friends, health and freedom; and more about how much crap we can acquire?
I hope that when I am blessed enough to have a family of my own, I will not succumb to the pressures of spoiling my children. I hope that I will not be one of those women that demand expensive gifts to "show how much they care." Caring is year 'round. If one or two days a year we expect expensive trinkets because the men in our lives don't show they care the other 364 days of the year, maybe we should have known our men and their lack of emotional availability before we married them?
So, hold me to it. No Tiffany's for me (not unless I am blessed enough to have a man that can pay CASH and pay the other bills). I would rather be comfortable than confined by debt.
Christmas= Christ's Day. Let's stop asking, "What did I get" and ask, "What do I already have that I am thankful for?"

Nothing to Fear, but Fear Itself

Well, I've been talking about this for a while and I have finally made my decision.
I'm going home to Phoenix!
It's Christmas Eve, and as I sat in service and listened to the preacher, I realized that this was not what God had intended for me. I know that He allowed it. I know that I learned many valuable lessons from this experience, ones that I might not have learned otherwise.
One thing I realize is that my whole life I have tried to please others. I've been afraid of disappointing anyone. I've been afraid to make my own decisions. I've been afraid to say that I was wrong.
Well, here it is in one sentence. "I WAS WRONG." -and that's not a bad thing.
I am going to start facing my fears.
Maybe I won't always live up to everyone's expectations, but I've already exceeded my own.
I'm not giving up -I'm just starting a new journey in life. Who knows where this one will lead me. I know one thing is for sure...THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME. (It feels great to know that you can ALWAYS go home, and to know that I am.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Seeing Purple?

I read the most recent edition of Newsweek which leads me to ask ONE question: Huh?
I am sickened by the obvious bias that is apparent and overwhelming in the back to back articles. The first ("Audacity of Hope") tells a tale of a new DNC savior, if you will, named Barack Obama. In the latter ("Mr. Right"-even has condecending tones to the title!), Rick Santorum is a meanie and we all should fear and loathe him.
I am NOT someone that you should ever go head to head with on a Santorum debate. I think the man is a great leader with morals and values. He also has a soul that hasn't been sold to get where he is and he admits his mistakes from his past and doesn't make excuses for decisions that he made. He takes responsibility, and encourages others to do so as well, which may be why the "free thinkers" can't stand him. [on a side note: I also pledged to him almost two years ago, that if he ever ran for President (obviously, after our beloved W was out of office), I would drop everything to help him in his race.]
Which all this ranting is leading somewhere, and that somewhere is here.
How can you praise one individual for "not knowing where he stands, but we know that he's a God fearing man." and condemn another for being a "devout and devoted family man -father to six home schooled children -and a senator determined to champion the church's traditional moral principles in the public square."?
I think it has to do with the lines leading up to, or following both of these sentences in each article. Obama is 'multi-racial' and praised by Harry Reid, a liberal Mormon senator from NV, the new Minority Leader, since Daschle's ousting. Santorum, however, is a white Catholic, he homeschool's his children (Oh No!), and, here is the worst of it all, Santorum is close to the White House.
If Santorum was John McCain, someone who has no party loyalty. Someone who would actually consider (or not publicly deny-same thing in politics, by the way) that he may take a shot at the VP seat for a DEMOCRATIC nominee, then the liberal media would have NO problem with him! It's because of Rick Santorum's faith, and the fact that he won't sellout, that he has cheapshots being taken at him.
Newsweek claims that Obama & Santorum are on the road to the WH in '08. They even have the nerve to compare BO to JFK by saying, Barack will be the same age as JFK when he runs (and takes office).
Oh well, since Barack has the power to 'unite' the red states and the blue states, so that we all see purple, I guess he is the answer to all of our problems. Except, we still dont know where he stands on most issues, and being a Catholic, we know where he SHOULD stand, but then again with Reid, Kerry and the rest of the left wing loonies throwing their support behind him, I think we all know where he lies.
I personally would like to keep seeing RED, so as Republicans, we all must do whatever is neccessary to make sure that we keep up the fight. Elections are not won in election years. They are won when we let down our guard and get complacent.

Pomp and Circumstance

I think I am beginning to grow up. Seriously.
Today I went for coffee at the Capitol Hill Club. This is a pretty prestigiouis place, located next to the Republican National Committee's headquarters and across from the Cannon House Office Building. As I walked in I noticed that I was relatively unaffected by the fact that I was there.
I didn't care if Karl Rove was inside, I just was unimpressed. Who cares about getting into a place that you have to be a "member at" just to have a cup of coffee?
Maybe as I get older I am harder to impress, or maybe as I get older I care less and less about impressing people or having to be impressed.
Why is it so important for people to be known? In the movie "Anchorman" Will Ferrell's character is at a party & says to a woman, "Hi, I'm Ron Burgundy, I'm pretty important. People know me around here." I feel like that is EVERY person I meet here. I like that the woman responds with, "I'm very happy for you." These are my exact sentiments!
I am tired of the game. I am tired of people wearing their resume's on their sleeve. Who cares who you work for? Who cares how you dress? I don't care if your bag came from Coach or Target, if its cute, work it. I am tired of people only talking to you if you can do something for them. I am tired of people only hanging out with people that look a certain way. I am tired of the BS, basically. Everyone needs to CHILL OUT!
Am I naive, or does the rest of the world operate this way? If so, I never noticed it before, and I'd like to go back to where it is doled out in more subtle undertones of arrogance.

You Can Putt

As I walked into my bosses office on that fateful Sunday afternoon, my eyes began to well up with tears. It was my first day on the job. Jen and I had just finished one of the LONGEST and most BORING meetings of our life. It was information overload.
My boss, MRS, called me into his office. He could tell that I was upset, or that something wasn't right. I was afraid, I was alone, and I hated Las Vegas with a PASSION.
I sat down at MRS's desk and we started to talk. My voice quivered and I told him all of the things that I was feeling and just how overwhelmed I was with being in a new place, and being all alone. Then it started to happen, the thing that every man on the face of the Earth hates. I started to cry.
Do you know what MRS's response was? Suck it up or get out, or at least that was it in a nutshell. He said to me, "If you get sad, you can putt." (MRS was not known for being a softy at that time. I was his 5th field staffer -all the others before me had been canned, and I was on my way out too, obviously. Now he's a big softy.)
MRS had this golf putter in his office and he & the boss used to hit the balls around the office when things got to be a bit stressful. I thought, "What an idiot," at the time. Now, I think to myself that I had to prove to myself that I could stick it out. That I could make it on my own.
I was alone and afraid. I didn't want to stay in Vegas, but I was needed there. The President's job was on the line. I had to suck it up because I didn't have a choice. MRS thought I was a joke. I had to prove to HIM that I wasn't a complete retard. If for nothing else, I could not leave until I showed everyone that homesick or not, I was going to work my tail off.
This is a different situation though. I have a choice here. I am not needed. I can do anything I want. That was my excuse for moving out here. I am young, I am single. I don't have anything to lose. I have no attachments and no one to answer to. Now is the perfect time.
Well, I am thinking that now may be the perfect time to throw in the towel. I am not a quitter, so that's why this is so unique for me. Normally, as I did in Vegas, I would be stubborn and pig headed & stay just to either A) tick someone off or B) prove myself to someone that didn't believe in me.
Being here has made me upset, not anyone else, and I've found that I've proven myself to the only person that matters. ME. Anyone that needs me to prove anything to them doesn't really care about me or believe in me in the first place. I am the one that has something to prove to myself.
This time around, I need to prove to myself that I really can go home. I always want people to be proud of me. I want verbal praise. I crave that in my life for some reason. Now, more than ever I am going to show myself that I can be a successful person without having to be miserable. I need to humble myself. I need to suck it up and say, you know what? I made a mistake. I wasn't supposed to be here, but I am going to make it right. I will face everyone that I told I was supposed to go, and tell them they were right, I was wrong.
One of my favorite sayings is that God gives us free will. If we stray from His will, He will always lead us back down the right path if we listen for His voice.
I'm listening now. I think it might be time to putt.

We'll see though. It's been a hard day. I need to get some sleep. I'll let you know what I decide to do tomorrow...

In Christ Alone

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." -Philippians 3:7
***********

You Can't Take It With You

I've noticed that it's the little things in life that seem to mean the most.
Have you ever noticed how caught up we all get in looking our best, and acquiring mass amounts of useless crap? I know that when I die I won't be able to take any of the garbage I've acquired to my grave, or beyond, so why is it so important?
Every January 1st most people make a New Year's Resolution, one that usually isn't kept. I am making mine early, and I am going to keep it. I am going to stop worrying about who's wearing what, and what kind of car so & so is driving. I don't care that I don't have the nicest car or the top of the line clothes. I know that I can't afford to drop money left and right on a whim. That is okay with me. I just don't act like it most of the time. I usually throw a mini-temper tantrum (only God is invited to this one) and say "Why does (insert name here) have this & that, and I am working so hard and I have nothing?!"
I need to learn to be a good steward of what God has given me. I need to learn to be thankful for what I do have. I know that God wants to bless me, His word says so. I don't doubt that for a minute. Maybe I am not in my dream job right now. Maybe I did work really hard in the past, but I got too big for my britches. I believe that sometimes God needs us to take a different route to get to our final destination. I believe that sometimes God wants to humble us.
Have you ever heard the saying that the Poor are closer to God? It's true.
I am BROKE right now, and my faith in God has grown exponentially. I am learning to rely on Him all over again. It's not by my strength, but by His. He will take care of me.
So from now on, instead of worrying why I don't have, I am going to start thanking God for what I do have.

Good Word

"But Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence." -Jeremiah 17:7, NLT

He is Still on the Throne

Pastor Barnett always says that no matter what your circumstances, God is still on the throne. He doesn't stop being God & He doesn't stop loving you just because your life isn't perfect.

Having Absolutely Nothing to Do with Politics

A friend recently approached me with a question as to what he should do with the current predicament he found himself to be in with Men's Shoe fashion. Apparently tassels are everywhere to be found. He asked me what I thought. Here is my honest opinion on the shoe industry's illustrious love affair with the tasseled shoe for men (and if they put it on a woman's shoe, I will probably boycott the company forever).
A man under the age of 33 should NOT ever wear a tasseled shoe. I only say NEVER because the only time it is appropriate on a younger man is when they are capable of pulling off the YUPPIE look, a la Don Johnson in Miami Vice, circa 1984. If a man can wear a white suit (which I also don't recommend anyone trying, this is not amateur hour here) or a HOT pink polo shirt (collar always popped) with loafers & no socks (Tammy- I'm thinking Kenny is in this mix somewhere, he can pull off the tassels, but he is like 35)...I'm digressing here- THEN TASSELS ARE ALLOWED. I say older men can pull this off because if they don't have a knowing, loving woman in their life, they don't know any better and we accept it by default.
The second option is if you work in the financial or science industries. I mean, and not to sound like a slam or anything, but you guys are known for being dorks, right? Okay, look at it this way: 1) You are probably intelligent and you have money (or at least know how to manage it well enough to make it look as though you have money)- therefore, most women will over look the shoes (even if they do have the dreaded tassel). AND 2) Most of the men I have known that are bankers, accountants and science geeks usually make me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants (this friend included), so once again, tassels are overlooked.
Point being, any man that will not object to a woman dressing him and wants to spend an hour or so with any said woman in question, all you have to do is say, "I don't know what kind of shoes to get, can you come to the mall with me?" You are making a woman very happy in many ways: 1) You are telling a woman that you want her to spend your money. 2) You are giving a woman permission to go shopping. 3) You are admitting in advance that you will probably screw this up if you do it on your own.
The Navy Blue Dilemma:
NEVER WEAR BLACK WITH NAVY BLUE. I have seen a lot of this lately. I am extremely upset, and somewhat offended. When did this become okay? I never got the memo, and even if Mr. Blackwell himself gave the okay, I am going to veto this decision. Burgundy shoes? Yes. Brown shoes? Okay. Black? Never. (Unless you are a Marine in Dress Blues, then you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT!!) Greg, the fact that you just admitted to me that you are an offender today, as I write this, makes me seriously cringe.
When in doubt, ask a woman. If there isn't one around, go to Banana Republic or Nordstroms and find the nearest gay guy. Oxfords, Greg, Oxfords. They look great with everything.

Proverbs 18:24

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18:24

People have swept into my life like a summer breeze, and swept out just as quickly. In our lives we meet people that are around for a moment, a season, or for a lifetime. No matter what the time period, or reason that they are there...They just are.
How often have we taken for granted those that stand by us, lift us up, encourage us, and basically just put up with our garbage? I know that there are too many times, more than I can count on both hands, and probably feet, that I have done this. So, to all of my great friends, THANK YOU. I would not be who I am, good or bad, without you.

Yuletide Carols Being Sung by a Choir

Have you ever looked at your life and thought about things that you take for granted?
I am sitting here, and I realize that a lot of my friends back home are in the Christmas Play. They are on stage as I write this. That makes me sad. Not for them, for me. The things that I have tried so desperately to get away from, are the things that I missed the most.
I miss getting to the church early and going into the prayer room. I miss setting up my makeup station and screaming that someone has stolen my (insert one, or all of the following): lip brush/concealer brush/ blush brush/ red lipstick, eye liner. Or because someone has set up their stuff in my station. GRRR! Then an adoring fan brings me a Gingerbread latte from Starbucks. Then my fans begin to line up so that I can make them beautiful for their closeups. I laugh and make jokes. I enjoy what I do. It makes me feel good to know that people rely on me. To know that people think I do a good job. It may not be much, but I've always liked making people happy. I don't know when I decided that that was a bad trait to have.
Then, I look down at my watch and realize that the curtain is going up and the choir is singing "Joy to the World" and I have to be on stage in 5 minutes and I am so NOT ready! I go screeching down the hallway, running down flights of stairs, and usually bumping into four to five random cast members. Then a devoted friend helps me change into my costume (remember when we did the 1800's scene? Hoop skirts & bonnets... Fake British accents. Charles Dickens is the picture of Christmas!).
Then I get to go on stage and sing and dance and act cheesy. I have fun. It's my life. I've been running from this for the past few years because I have been running from being someone that everyone wants me to be. I was trying to find out who I was. I knew who I was the whole time.
I miss going with all of the Youth Group kids to Starbucks, or to Dairy Queen, or Rolberto's (for greasy, yummy, Mexican food), or TP-ing at one of the pastor's houses. (I think JP is still ticked about that!) Let's also not forget about late night trips to the Super Walmart!
I miss hanging out with my mom. I miss seeing my friend's kids & hearing them talk about seeing Santa. I want to watch White Christmas with Lynda. I want to laugh at every line of Elf with Missy- because you're a cotton headed ninny muggins! (And play Apples to Apples & WIN!) I want to drink hot chocolate and talk with a friend. Do you know I haven't even watch my Christmas staple movies yet this year? (The original "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," "Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman," & "Charlie Brown Christmas.")
So, moral of the story...It took me moving FAR away to realize that there is no place like home.

Drip, Drip, Drop Little April Showers

WHY IS IT RAINING SO MUCH?!?!
It's already rained this once this week. It rained all day today. It's supposed to rain tomorrow. Ugh. I didn't know that I moved to Seattle...
Anyway, today was a depressing day, but I am getting over it. There is something about the rain that makes me want to sleep, or watch an old movie, or do both. I slept until 11:30 (don't tell Chris, he might have a heart attack) and then I read, and then I watched the news and then part of a movie. So lets just say that it was a totally meaningless day. But I loved the fact that I didn't have to interact with anyone and I didn't have to be intelligent or happy for anyone.
Patty called me and we were supposed to go to a political happy hour. Since neither of us felt like being 'social' we decided to meet for dinner.
It's nice how complete strangers turn into the most trusted friends. We met at this great Italian place and had some pasta (GASP! Carbs!!) and a bottle of Pinot Grigio (a must). She really encouraged me to keep going and not to give up on DC. She also let me know that it was okay to make mistakes (see earlier posts about stupid southern men) and I will be okay. Its nice to hear someone else say it every now and then. (Sometimes my pep talks that I give to myself are not so convincing.)
So after a day of rain, and the thought of getting up at the crack of dawn to go to work at a department store, I actually have gained a bit more confidence and I know that things are going to be okay. Rain or shine, things are going to be okay.

Psalm 66:19

God is faithful. He answers prayers. He takes care of those that are faithful to Him and His word. I am standing on His promise that says, "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

I am asking for prayer for favor here in DC and for God's hand to guide me in the right direction, that I would cross paths with those that will help me find the job that I am supposed to be in. I also need God's provision financially.

Thanks for standing in prayer with me.

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on Earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in Heaven." -Matthew 18:19

Apathy, Party of 200, Your Table is Ready

Well, I was shocked when I logged onto to the Arizona Young Republican website (www.arizonayr.com) today to read the "Victory" note that was posted, along with a dashing photo of our President. I love that so many people take so much pride in doing so little. It would have been more proper to say, "Thank you Danielle, Amanda, Gabi, Val, Jess..." (I know I have left out a few names, but unfortunately, not many.) I hate to sound bitter or hateful, but here I go anyway.
Since when does being a part of an organization, by name and a membership due ONLY, entitle you to the fruits of others labor? I can name on one, MAYBE two hands the people who were faithfully out working at the grassroots level to see our President re-elected, from the YR's group. It's amazing how NOT EVEN OUR CHAIRMAN went to phone banks, and actually MADE CALLS. I mean, it's one thing for you to go and do the work and occasionally chit chat, as Danielle, Jessica, Gabi & I did, but it is QUITE ANOTHER to show up & not do a damn thing. I understand that people are busy. I understand that we all have lives. Let's take a little pride in our country though. This effort was not an effort to elevate ourselves in the eyes of others, but to elevate our President in the eyes of his constituents, fellow citizens and neighbors.
In two years we have to make damn sure that we get Napolitano out of office. Will the YR's turn out in FULL FORCE then, or will it be another pathetic attempt to look as though we are working, but really not doing much of anything? What would have happened if George W. Bush was not re-elected? How many people would have then said, "What could I have done differently, or more so to change the outcome?"
We should never have to ask ourselves this question under any circumstances. The answer should always be, "I HONESTLY did everything I could."
One hour a week makes more of a difference than no hours ever.

Hurry Up & Wait

Well, here I am in our Nation's Capitol. I wonder why though. I mean I am sitting in my apartment not doing anything but praying that my phone will ring or that someone will send me an email saying, "We want to hire you. You start tomorrow."
Alas, this has not happened. So I hurried out here so I could sit and wait. So here I am...Waiting, and waiting some more, and still waiting. I get to start pounding the pavement tomorrow. (Joy of joys).
Tonight I am going to the Bush-Cheney HQ in VA to volunteer (everything comes full circle, doesn't it?) and hopefully there I will make some new contacts that can help me in my quest to reach the top.
So as I keep waiting, I will keep you all updated on my search.

Climbing Forward Makes it Hard to Look Back

On to the next phase of my life! I'm moving to D.C. in two days. I cannot believe it!!
When I was younger I had something that my dear friend Katie would refer to as "Divine Ignorance," referring to the phrase, "Ignorence is Bliss." I was perfectly content to never go anywhere, meet anyone or do anything with my life. Obviously that all has changed.
I am stepping out in complete faith, believing that God will grant me CRAZY FAVOR and I will land a great job when arrive, since I have exactly $200 to my name, and I owe a LOT more than that in bills for this coming month. It's weird because I believe that anything is possible and I am hoping and trusting for the best. "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, we trust in the name of the Lord our God."-Psalm 20:6-8.
God has always been faithful, and He has brought me too far for me to give up now.
Pastor Barnett spoke this morning about being a quitter, a camper or a climber. I have always been a camper. Content to stay in one place once I reach a plateau, never wanting or longing to move forward, being complacent in what God has given me. I have decided that God has called me to be a climber. To reach higher. To go farther. How can I glorify God when I am not consistently trusting in Him and aiming to do His great will in my life? The Bible says clearly that "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those that earnestly seek Him." -Hebrews 11:5-7
I have chosen to earnestly seek God and God's will for my life.
Years ago I believed that I was called to be a wife and a mother. That was it. And while those are huge undertakings I do not believe that I would be happy if I had followed that path, unless I kept my divine ignorance and went with the "what you don't know won't hurt you" theory. After all, If you don't know there is grass on the other side, how can it be greener?
Anyway, I've rambled on incoherently for long enough. I am going, and hopefully you will read of great things to come in my life on this site. I will keep you all updated.
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Hebrews 11:1

Civility is Not a Sign of Weakness

The title line for my blog posting today was taken from President Kennedy's inaugural address in 1961. If you have never read it, it is beautiful. (http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres56.html)
Today was a day of reverence for myself. I awoke to a dreary day with clouds and drizzle. There were no birds chirping or squirrels playing outside. I thought to myself, this is the perfect day to go visit the National Cemetery. It is hard to go to a place as reverent and beautiful as Arlington when the sun is shining brightly and the birds are singing. You want to go on a day when you feel as though you could cry anyway, so why not make it a cry for a good reason. I went to cry and remember those who have died for my freedoms.
When I arrived however, I was quite shocked to hear all of the people around me yelling and talking and laughing as if they were in an amusement park. The sight is so magnificent and devout, I could never bring myself to go there with another person, because I feel that remembering those whose lives were given for our freedom is something we should do in solitude. I was disgusted to hear how many people acted as though these soldiers lives were nothing to be thankful for. Then again, I am the kind of person that always has, and always will think that it is better to err on the side of respect (I even found myself shooshing people at President Kennedy's tomb).
It may be out of turn for me to say it, but are these the people who might have been the "human shields" months ago at the beginning of the Iraqi war? The people who did not have respect for the lives of the Iraqi's and thought nothing of our soldiers? If you cannot respect a fallen life, why would you enter the grounds in the first place?
It is painful for me to think that the memory of those that were so brave, and so unfortunate is trodden on daily by those that go to ANC, just for the sake of going, not because they want to thank the soldiers or remember that our Freedoms are precious. To some people Arlington will never be more than a tourist site.

http://www.arlingtoncemetery.org/

Changing Leaves, Changing Lives

Here I am in our Nation's Capitol. Well, not really. I am sitting in an apartment in Rosslyn, VA. But same diff. I am a hop, skip & a jump from D.C. (literally about 2 metro rides away, or 10 minutes).
Okay, so anyway, like I was saying before all of the technicalities- I'm here in Washington, D.C. and it is so beautiful! I love it here. All around me the leaves on the trees are changing colors and there are squirrels frolicking in the brightly colored red & orange piles. It is so different from what I am used to. This place is so picturesque. Almost like a Thomas Kincaid painting or something.
I have met a lot of really great people while I have been here and I am enjoying my time so much. Thinking about moving here is scary, but at the same time very exiting. It is a chance for me to prove to everyone, but mostly myself that I am capable of being more than a secretary or a housekeeper.
I remember back to when I was younger, and even just a couple of years ago, all I wanted to do was get married and have kids. That was because I didn't think I could do anything else. Not that I am implying that marriage and family are small feats or insignificant in anyway, I just didn't have drive or ambition for anything else. I was merely going to settle for the least, what I could get by with in life without trying.
Here I stand today. I am young, intelligent, and ambitious. The only problem with that statement is that so is everyone else in this town. I have had to prove my whole life that I could do things that everyone else said was impossible, showing the nay-sayers that little people can do big things. So here I am, waiting for someone, anyone to give me a chance to be more than an assistant. Begging for an opportunity. Hoping that someone will see in me a spark or something different. I know that I don't have a higher education, so I will have to work harder than others that have a degree (or five), but I don't mind working hard, I've done it all of my life & I will do it until the day that I die.
I will be traveling home next week for Thanksgiving and hopefully by then I will have an update as to what is to come for me. Until then, I will keep pounding the pavement, so to speak (and boy do my feet hurt!) and annoying people until they give me a chance.

A few quotes on ambition to leave you with...

"If you have a great ambition, take as big a step possible in the direction of fulfilling it. The step may only be a tiny one, but trust that it may be the largest one possible for now." -Mildred McAfee

"A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it." -Unknown

"The men who succeed are an efficient few. They are the few that have ambition and will power to develop themselves." -Herbert N. Casson

"Great ambition is the passion of great character." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom." -Thomas Carlyle

"To those of you that earned honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be President of the United States." -President George W. Bush

(that last one was my favorite, I afterall was a C student!)

Moving Ahead and Leaving the Past Behind

Four months ago I started this blog and I HATED Las Vegas. I didn't think I would make it through my time here. I felt like I was in a prison.
Now that I am sitting in my office, clearing off my files from computer and emptying filing cabinets and I can't believe that I am leaving. I have built relationships and come to love my life here.
I am sitting here thinking about the first time I stepped foot into this office. I am thinking about the internal changes that have taken place in my life. I think that this AMAZING opportunity has changed me for the better. It has taught me that I am stronger than I thought. I am able to do so much more than I ever could have dreamed. I learned what I want out of life, and what I expect from myself. No longer do I have slight dreams, I have God-sized aspirations, knowing that only with Him can I accomplish anything.
I am excited for the next phase in my life. I am excited that you all will be coming along for the ride, so to speak...
Many thanks for your love and support.

Don't Like America? Move to France...

Well, I was watching the news tonight & I heard the remark that there are American's that can't stand President Bush so much that they would leave for Canada. Well, personally, if that's your feeling, please go.
I was NOT a fan of Bill Clinton, and I have my issues with many politicians, but I believe that if we as an American people elect these leaders, we must live with them. I also believe that we live in the greatest country in the world. The country that allows you to openly hate others without oppression. In fact, those of us that are on the Right are more oppressed, even though we are the majority, more than the left wing minority.
If you hate freedom, and you want to leave, no one is stopping you.

FOUR MORE YEARS!!

Okay, so it's finally over and after all is said & done, W is STILL the President.
I put blood, sweat & tears into this campaign, and it is finally over. I have to say that it is some what anti-climactic. I mean, after everything it is all over.
I want to say thank you to every person who gave up and sacrificed something to make sure our President was re-elected. I am so overwhelmed by the amount of people that took time off of work to come out and walk precincts and make phone calls to constituents. The grassroots efforts were amazing, and we could not have won this state, or any state without the volunteers. Especially the ones who came in early in the morning and stayed late into the night. The women who never saw their husbands, and the children that stayed in the lobby and put together yard signs while their parents made calls. The husbands giving up their hot meals and clean socks so their wives could come down to help do data entry & schedule poll watchers, or anything else we may have asked for. It brings tears to my eyes when I think of how many sacrificed and that they were so ready and willing to do so, never even blinking an eye when we asked them to do some of the most ridiculous and most tedious tasks possible.
I cannot say it enough, THANK YOU. There are no words that can express the way that I feel about the people that I met during my time here in Nevada. You all were a GREAT help to me, and to our President. Take care and keep in touch.
Val