Mother's Know Best

When I was younger I wanted nothing more than to be independent and free. Especially from my mother. Why is it that young women need desperately to be away from our mothers, and yet we need them near?
I never realized how much I loved my mom, or just how much she loved me until July. I mean, I always knew that she loved me, but I didn't get HOW MUCH. Our relationship is strange, especially since she is not my birth mother. I've always been grateful to her for giving up her life to take me in. I've always been thankful for the sacrifices of her family, for me. They made me one of them. But I never really got it, until now. In a weird way, I never appreciated her the way that I should have.
July came and I was moving to Las Vegas. I was terrified of leaving home. I was afraid to drive alone. I didn't want to go, but I did. Mom gave up her weekend at the last second to drive with me. She wanted to make sure that I arrived safely.
When it came time for her to leave me, I cried. I was like a little girl standing in the school yard on my first day of kindergarten. I had never been without my mom. What would I do now?
I immediately became lonely. I didn't know if I could survive without this woman that had become my best friend, my mentor and the woman I wanted to be when I grew up.
Now that I am in DC- she worries about me. I am so far away. She doesn't ever hear from me. I try to explain that it's because I don't want to disappoint her. I haven't done all of the things that I said I was going to do. But in a way, I think she is proud of me, even if she hasn't said it.
I called her today. I cried and told her I wanted to come home. She said okay.
So, now, I am getting ready to leave this place so far away. I wanted my independence. Now all I want is my family.
I can't wait to see my mom!!