I am sitting here, and I realize that a lot of my friends back home are in the Christmas Play. They are on stage as I write this. That makes me sad. Not for them, for me. The things that I have tried so desperately to get away from, are the things that I missed the most.
I miss getting to the church early and going into the prayer room. I miss setting up my makeup station and screaming that someone has stolen my (insert one, or all of the following): lip brush/concealer brush/ blush brush/ red lipstick, eye liner. Or because someone has set up their stuff in my station. GRRR! Then an adoring fan brings me a Gingerbread latte from Starbucks. Then my fans begin to line up so that I can make them beautiful for their closeups. I laugh and make jokes. I enjoy what I do. It makes me feel good to know that people rely on me. To know that people think I do a good job. It may not be much, but I've always liked making people happy. I don't know when I decided that that was a bad trait to have.
Then, I look down at my watch and realize that the curtain is going up and the choir is singing "Joy to the World" and I have to be on stage in 5 minutes and I am so NOT ready! I go screeching down the hallway, running down flights of stairs, and usually bumping into four to five random cast members. Then a devoted friend helps me change into my costume (remember when we did the 1800's scene? Hoop skirts & bonnets... Fake British accents. Charles Dickens is the picture of Christmas!).
Then I get to go on stage and sing and dance and act cheesy. I have fun. It's my life. I've been running from this for the past few years because I have been running from being someone that everyone wants me to be. I was trying to find out who I was. I knew who I was the whole time.
I miss going with all of the Youth Group kids to Starbucks, or to Dairy Queen, or Rolberto's (for greasy, yummy, Mexican food), or TP-ing at one of the pastor's houses. (I think JP is still ticked about that!) Let's also not forget about late night trips to the Super Walmart!
I miss hanging out with my mom. I miss seeing my friend's kids & hearing them talk about seeing Santa. I want to watch White Christmas with Lynda. I want to laugh at every line of Elf with Missy- because you're a cotton headed ninny muggins! (And play Apples to Apples & WIN!) I want to drink hot chocolate and talk with a friend. Do you know I haven't even watch my Christmas staple movies yet this year? (The original "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," "Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman," & "Charlie Brown Christmas.")
So, moral of the story...It took me moving FAR away to realize that there is no place like home.
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